My marriage failed because my husband did not love me, and I could not pretend all was well at home.
It was a loveless marriage from the point our shared daughter was born. Knowing what I know now, I can see that my husband was so fearful of fatherhood, of his self-imposed responsibilities as a father, that he was wound up too tightly to take care of what was most important, our marriage. He chose to neglect me, he chose to blame and shame me when I made any attempt to improve our relationship, or call out the problems we were having.
Even a month prior to the divorce being final he said these words to me “I would have done anything to save our marriage”; I stopped him, said don’t lie to me; I told you that I didn’t feel loved, that you would shame and blame me, and you didn’t stop doing any of those things, so NO, it is NOT true that you would have done anything to save our marriage, because I told you what was wrong, and you chose to not fix it, but make it worse by blaming me and shaming me and making it to be my fault with taking ZERO responsibilities for your actions, or lack of actions.